I have been spending a LOT of time away from the computer - as much as possible. Lately though Colleen's addiction to Facebook has become a little bit contagious. Been had me thinking about just how attached to the computer I used to be - spending all day, every day in front of it - working mostly, but also dedicatng los of time to creativity which I miss incredibly.
A couple years ago Ali began adopting one word to focus on for the coming year. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because of all this self-reflection stuff going on for me right now. Tossing tons of words around...
Quiet (this is my leading fave at this point)
Faith (getting more and more curious to explore this in my life...whatever it might end up being or meaning)
I have been reading lots lately and am reminded of my root love of books and literature. Our family didn't own a television so I devoured books like they were pieces of candy (which we didn't have either - so deprived!). For years the extent of reading for me has been 1.5 to 3 pages of something while falling asleep at night and usually would have to re-read the same pages over again the next day so eventually I reverted to old copies of Us and Vanity Fair (writing in VF is stellar and the articles are manageable over a few stolen moments). Had about five books on the go, and I'm just letting myself choose which one to finish and will continue until they are done. For a few weeks it was all about inspirational, self-helpish books...Kelly Cutrone's If You Have to Cry Go Outside (holy girl power), Eat Pray Love, and the next one on the list is The Power of Now. BUT I'm back to flat-out fiction for a bit. Looking forward to getting my Goodreads profile up to date and start looking for some new finds.
We had a great weekend away in Birch Bay. Great friends and amazing weather and I'm definitely too old for shots. Just a note to self there. I found a super cute gold metal necklace and some comics for Jax at the thrift store. Jax decided he was never going to take the comics out of the plastic and announced that they were part of a collection. I lost the necklace. Sigh. Jax hijacked my camera both days and got some great photos. He was so impressed the massive decade-old Eagles' nest.
Have had great chats with Coco and Selma and various other wonderful people lately. I have so much love and support it's sick. I feel incredibly lucky and I owe it to myself and to everyone in my life to keep reflecting and trying my best to stay on the right path. I have dreams and goals and so much to do. I have been adding small touches around the house and it feels more like home with each change. Selma and I smudged and the energy turned completely around. Burning oils and making Jax clean up after himself as much as possible.
Lots of work - meetings for Charles Square and meetings for here and co-op maintenance stuff and so much time spent thinking and sleeping and focusing on Jaxon. I think he is showing signs of the separation affecting him but he is so quiet and doesn't want to talk about it. Or anything difficult or bad for that matter. When he is up he seems so adjusted and happy and energetic and the other end of the spectrum for him is so drastically different. As I adjust and learn to be alone and attempt to drop some of this anger I can feel the difference in our relationship. He is teaching me as much if not more than I am teaching him.
There's so much more but it's time to go make a list and do the stuff I hate first. Argh. But it works for me to make a plan every day. I'm the planner type for sure.