So cliche. The thing about cliches though, is that they're true. God that used to irritate me!
The thing about clear-headed awareness and the peace that comes along with accountability and self-improvement is that we come to acceptance for what we have. It seems to always be enough. It's been that way for me lately. Instead of feeling down that winter is coming, I'm able to see the beauty of the fall leaves. I think an important part of the process for me is that I had to do some work in order to naturally get to a place where the positive attitude is just generally there. Well, here. Inside me. I used to start at forcing the positive outlook. 'Today, I'll be happy. I will think of the glass as half full. I will be positive.' Making that decision doesn't mean it is, or that it will stay with you.
Life is life. We will always be dealt difficulties and problems. Our outlook and coping mechanisms will dictate what our part is in any situation. As long as we act honourably and are able to honestly admit when we have not, choose the right path rather than the one that inevitably leads us astray, and live for the greater good, 'others-centred' rather than 'self-centred', we know it will be OK.
Yes, I have depression. My mindset can biologically/chemically take me to dark, sad places, places that I can't seem to climb out of on my own. I look back on my life with a clear mind, and remember being a sad and lonely little girl, often sitting by myself at home. I found solace in reading and art, but the lonely feeling never left. Always highly emotional, I don't remember being another way. I didn't know there was another way. That was my normal. It's a real thing, but it's not unmanageable. I still get into ruts from time to time. However, the further along I get with The New Me, as long as I can continue to be a seeker in this short life I have, the shorter and shallower the ruts seem to get. Improvement is slow but steady, as long as I'm connected.
After doing hardly anything creatively for almost two years, I'm back in the game. I have been painting and altering books and making cards and exploring new methods and mediums. I have so far been unsuccessful at learning to knit an crochet, but really, how many projects do I need to have on the go!? So, it's OK. In fact, a friend is here working on a project and so I'm going to get to work too!
Life's so good, for today.
gratitude: for being pushed (actually, gently nudged) outside my comfort zone this morning and being willing to have a new experience.